First Day of College Classes

So today is the first official day for college. I am a bit nervous (okay a lot) and curious to see how college classes would compare to my IB school. To be honest, I am more worried about making friends than the academic portion (only on labs though...their format for reports and stuff seems hard). During orientation few days ago, everyone on campus emphasize on making friends and meeting new people. Yeah, I meet tons of people, but I didn't make friends. Maybe it is my definition of what friends to me are, but I didn't have that instant connection that I saw others have. They already formed groups, hanging out together and getting to know each other. But me, I hanged out with my high school friends and met a few people through my room mate (my best friend)'s childhood friend. To be honest, I am scared. I am scared that I won't make friends, lifelong friends for that matter. Even my sister made tons of friends at the sibling orientation in a couple of seconds...me...zero. I tried, which only accomplish in clicking with this other girl on my dorm room floor. I thought that I would be able to quickly made friends like I did in high school, middle school, and even elementary. It is kinda, okay no, really stressing me out. And you know what they say, "You make friends during the first week, then it is hard to find friends". Even now I feel like my room mate who was my best friend ever is going back to her old childhood best friend and meeting new people through her, who she clicks with (yeah she went to breakfast with them...). Many questions keep going through my head everyday, every time like:

"Did I make the right decision to come here?"

"Should I have chosen the all girls, cluster hall?"

"Should I have went in blind rather than rooming with my best friend despite what people say about ruining friendships through dorm rooming?"

"Do people even like me here"

"Is this because I am a different race and a minority?"

To tell you the truth, I have the biggest and hugest fear in what people think of me. This leads me to be shy, not outgoing and eventually not social. Once you know me know, I am very outgoing, quirky, and a tad weird. Hopefully as the year progress i will be able to meet new friends, have my own quirky group. So praying that it does happen.

This is not meant to be a debbie downer because college is not like that! The campus is gorgeous. I love the town surrounding it (there is even a beach). I still have my friend from high school I can click with (even though she isn't in any of my classes...erp). It will hopefully get better and I know that it will be, but I just need to vent/rant my stress and worries because I just needed to let it out there.

I was thinking about doing something called the 5 seconds of courage (or even 10) where I just push myself and do something that I would normally not. Do it before you think. Just do it because like me if you contemplate and wait, the opportunity will pass. Plus its college, I don't think you will see that same person often. But do something negative, it needs to be positive! So I am afraid, but college is a new start, a new beginning so LETS DO THIS THING! (:

So, I hope that for my fellow first year freshmen that you having an amazing time (better than mine), and enjoy classes! Study hard! Party hard! ( but not too hard)

 x o x o